where I am

This last few weeks haven't been great ... nothing bad has happened, but I have just not felt with it or able to feel like I was getting anything done ... I feel like I have lost focus and in a daze ... days drift by and I am not getting done what I want to get done. My diet that was going so well at the beginning of the year seems to be a lot of hard work to just go up a pound/down a pound since Easter. and all in all I have been feeling a little blue :(

On Monday night I decided I needed a break from dieting and would start again in a few weeks when I was in the right head-space ... so I duly went to Morrisons and stocked up on things I haven't eaten all year ... (well maybe I have had a few occasionally, but not all at once) ... things like bakewell tart, chocolate, white bread, honey-nut loops and crisps. So that was what I've eaten over the last couple of days ... not excessively ... not binging ... not a lot compared with some ... but you know what ... I feel horrid ... physically horrid ... after just 2 and a half days I feel sluggish (more than before!!)

I've also had headaches the last few days .... I guess I am not used to the sugar. And this morning I woke up and was trying to think of every way I could to get out of walking to town and back (which I do about 3 or 4 times a week ... its only half an hour each way) but this morning I looked up bus times and wished I had a car again. I could have got the bus and if I was quick in town be back in less than an hour, but I didn't ... I walked ... and I am so glad that I did.

as soon as I stepped outside and felt the sunshine I knew it was a good choice ... it was so warm, my backache went and it was lovely ...

... I know I need to snap myself out of it ... I need to re-focus and start again. I haven't done any course work for the last week and my to-do list is not even getting looked at ... I need to get back on the diet-wagon and maybe make myself a time-table (or is that too much like school?? hehe) ... I need a big face-slap ... or maybe I need a holiday ;)

Sorry if this post is a bit of a ramble .. a bit of a moan ... its just me re-focusing and hopefully getting back on track!


  1. I can completely relate, Maria! I feel like I need someone to tell me the answers and give me a step-by-step sort your head out guide! Feeling happy with your body shouldn't be so hard, but I know you'll get your focus back and be feeling better soon. Everyone needs a wee break now and then. Thinking of you xx

  2. Thanks Sah, it is amazing how bad habits slip back in and your focus soon goes x


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