looking back at 2020

Everyone you meet will say this last year has been crazy, a year like no other, a bad year and a sad year ... and this is true. but for me this year bought me my rainbow baby ... a child I had almost lost hope in having, a little brother for Billy, a boy who's cheeky smile lights up his face and melts our hearts a little more each time!

I found out on Boxing Day last year that I was pregnant, so I entered 2020 with so much joy and hope in my heart! ... January and February are a bit of blur, throwing up pretty much every day for the next 6 month didn't take away the joy, but it did make me feel pretty rough!!!

In January Billy went on his first school trip to Cardiff ... I was a bag of nerves and only really let him go as another mum who I was friends with was heading there too and could keep an eye on him. He seemed so tiny and had never been that far away from me before. He loved it though and saw Dippy the Dinosaur while he was on tour at the museum!

February bought us the first glimps of our little one, lots of frosty mornings, snow and a super king size bed!

March was a bit of a shock to us, we hadn't really been watching the news, so talk of a virus and lockdown seemed to come suddenly. We took Billy out of school not long before the lockdown was announced, being pregnant and looking after Steve's elderly parents next door, we felt it was best. As we lead a quiet life, it didn't seem that hard! Our work seemed to stop, (I look after a holiday cottage over the fields and all the bookings were cancelled and it wasn't possible for Steve to carry on with his handyman work) Billy LOVED having Steve home all the time and the weather was lovely so we got quite a lot done in the garden. The old hen house and hen pen got pulled down, we replaced the fence up the side, dug out a load of the bank and extended where we park the cars.

April gave us more gorgeous weather and lots of walks in the fields behind our home, Easter and Billy's birthday. We realised we had to stop watching the daily updates when he was around as he was getting very anxious about it. We found out the baby was a boy and school at home and video chat started!

May seemed to be full of more endless Summer days, a trampoline for Billy and me feeling like I wanted to start getting the place ready for the baby!


After our peaceful few months of lockdown, June rocked our world. We had a scare with a baby scan that there was something wrong with his brain. At the same time, Steve, who was in the hospital carpark looking after Billy while waiting for me as he couldn't come in, collapsed and was taken to Hereford Hospital in an ambalance. I had to take Billy to my parents, then my dad took me on to Hereford too for more scans. It all turned out ok in the end, but was a horrid few days and Steve ended up staying in. Later that week I was also diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Because of this, my age and the scare we had, I then had to have scans and appointments with the Consultant in Hereford every 2 weeks. Hereford is an hour away from us and so there were many long afternoons waiting in the hot car for Steve as he couldn't come in with me.

Towards the end of June, Steve started looking after a beautiful estate next to the river Wye and we spent a few lovely afternoons there while he was working! July seemed to be full of more hospital appointments and a very uncomfortable bump!

August and the birth of Jack! We were not expecting him until the end of August, beginning of September so being told I would be induced in a few days on the 18th of August got me doing everything I could to start naturally! Bring on all the essential oils, raspberry leaf tea, hot baths and a sweep from the midwife! Being so early though, they only got me a couple of cm dilated and I still had to be induced and then a horrid drip which made labour soooooo painful, but we ended up with the most precious little bub and I was soon saying I would go through it again!! I am so grateful that Steve was able to be in with me once I went into the delivery suite as I had heard so many horror stories of poor women giving birth without their partners.

 September and back to school for Billy, year 1 and seeing his friends who he had missed so much! Visits from cousins and lots and lots of baby cuddles and a brand new favourite photo.

October ... I ate a lot! I think I ate a lot in September too, but I was really aware of it in October ... breastfeeding hunger is a real thing! Another lockdown here in Wales meant lots of den making and video playdates while dressing up and sitting in dens!

November and lots of amazing skys and me being the most organised I have been in years for Christmas! 

 Looking back December seemed to be all about Christmas and getting the house cosy. Trying to remember to pop a chocolate in the advent calendar every night after Billy had gone to bed AND putting it in the right number bag! Christmas, like everyones, was quiet but we did get to see my parents and as Steves parents are in our household, Billy spent Christmas with all his grandparents. Christmas was all for the boys and although Jack won't remember it, Billy will and for that reason was the loveliest Christmas I've ever had!

I hope there were some bright parts to your 2020 and when we look back, they will be what we remember!
Happy New Year everyone!


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